There is something wrong. There is something missing. Something is off. I dont really know how to explain it. Im good at making everything look good around me that sometimes Im actually totally fine. But then there is that lingering feeling, like something is missing. Ive always been the one with big dreams. Even though Ive never really done anything about them. They are more like things I want to do or things I know would be good at. I look at things like magazines, movies, pictures, or books and all of a sudden something clicks, jelousy. I get crazy obsessing with other peoples lives because I cant bare to think about my life. The life I was not meant to lead. I know that I am meant for so much more. So I will sit and be patient. I know it will happen.
Yesterday my mom and dad went to a psychic. (My parents blow my mind sometimes...they believe in psychics, astrology, karma, previous lives...they also truly believe obama is the anti-christ and that there is a heaven...for all those past lives?) anyway..I also hardcore believe in psychics..my whole family is very intuned with our senses. We all see things. Well the psychic told them that through out the worlds existence they have been toegether 12x. This lifetime my mother is paying my dad back for leaving her in the last lifetime. She is holding grudges against him in this lifetime because he promised her he would come home but died in the civil war leaving her with two kids....a son and a daughter. Thus is why she makes his life a living hell now. For some reason that makes soo mcuh since to me. The psychic said that they are soulmates and this isnt the last time they will be together. She also said that their daughter holds unresolved grudges because in another life they had her and they forced her to leave the man she loved for someone else and she tragically died young in a car accident after she got a big break in acting. WOW. um sometime psychics scare me. She gave the whole family warnings. I think its time I go stop by. I know that my past lives were crazy. Maybe this one has to be calm..because Im still recovering from the last. On what the pyschic said to my parents about me...ive ALWAYS felt that I have left someone I loved behind. When I was little I grew up knowing that I would never be as happy as I was...it didnt make since to me then, it does now. Also I am DEATHLY afraid of cars, driving, accidents, anything involving cars. And Ive always belonged on screen. I wonder if history would let me repeat myself.
Also I normally HATE megan fox and thinks she looks like trailer trash...but good god....i get the craze now
M.
off to marina
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