brainless girls, pathetic women.

I often struggle with defining the line between "my world" and "their world". Im beginning to think that my world was made up by an incessant need to be different then every person i went to high school with. I believe that I may live in a very twisted little bubble with all of my friends, and I forget how different we really are from "normal society". Last night I hung out with a group of very nice college girls from GW. I am one of the most self sure people in the world. I know who I am, what I love, and the people and things I want in my life. But every once in awhile I'm taken out of my element and I'm shocked everytime with what I discover. See in my group of friends it is not an uncommon thing to have an entire conversation about vampires. We are the kids who have no money, who smoke way to many cigarettes, who would debate you till next year about who would win in battles (ghost vs ninja), who spend hours analyzing everything at a starbucks for hours, who drink whiskey for the taste, who watch way to many intense movies, who listen to cynical ironic music, and who are a tad bit elitist. We do not do this to be cryptic dramatic "problem children". We do these things because we cant imagine anything else. So when I step into a different world like last night my perception on things are slightly shifted. I sat there last night wide eyed trying to take in everything that they were saying. The night felt like to me a tornado of everything college girl. Maybe its because ive never experienced college or dont have friends like that but it fascinated me. I normally have a witty comment or refrence for everything, but I found myself cracking jokes to the air and being quizically stared at more than I ever hope to be again. It was not that these girls were rude at all. I just think that we are the exact opposites of eachother. And it really really boggles my mind. I dont know why but its really doing a number on me. At the end of the day Im me, obviously the biggest dork in the world. But come on, really, vampires are pretty fucking epic. 

M.

havent slept much, havent eaten much, havent stopped much.